i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
They left me at home... I'm a liability
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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