remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
