i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
