Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
