One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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