i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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