So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this beer tastes like vomit already
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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