So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
