yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
