Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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