The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
