Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
