I got chris browned last night
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
