the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
