K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
