i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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