You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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