She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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