Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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