I could have mohawked her pubes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
