This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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