maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
