dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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