if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Even my vagina gasped.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
