if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We are two peas in an std pod
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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