there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
