how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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