Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Life is so much better after having sex.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
