the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
