when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
