We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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