David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
