i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
