i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
