If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
