never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
