I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
