Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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