we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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