I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
