I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
