she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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