I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
