I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
