Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
