would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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