it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
