Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
