You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
