I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
