i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
