I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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