i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
