This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
