Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
