is your mom at the bar?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
