We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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