I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
