update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I will pee on everything he values.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
